冷雨夜

2010-01-31T09:19:00.003+08:00

Recently,I start to miss my old friends in HIHS.I also do not know why I have such feelings.People say that I can make new friends in new school,but your new friends can never ever instead of your old friends.Anyway,although JC life is very stressful,I will try to keep in touch with them.

Firstly,I will miss Seow Hwee,this girl is a bit crazy,okay,I think not only a bit,she is very crazy!But on the other hand,what are covered by her crazy actions?She is smart and logical.She is a strong and powerful girl.Although she does not like me to say that she is a beautiful girl,to be honest,I have to say,she is beautiful.Actually,I do not need to worry too much about her as she is an independent girl,she can settle most problems by herself,but sometimes,she is a bit emotional,that is the time she show her girly side.She will cry in front of you unstoppable.I really do not want to see that,not because I feel annoyed.It is because her cry also make me want to cry,luckily,last time I stopped her crying before I started to cry together with her=.=Girl crying is acceptable,but a big boy like me cry together with a girl...That sounds a bit wrong.Anyway,after experience so much,I believe that she has became much more mature.I hope that she can get into a good university course which she wants after 2 years JC studying,and I believe that she can do it.Anyway,if she meet any problem in the future,I will always welcome her to tell me and I will do my best to help her.

I will also miss Russell.He is smart,logical,wise and independent.Oh,yeah,I prefer to using sexy and attractive these two words on him.I can say that he is the smartest student in HIHS,I also can say that he is the most dirty student in HIHS.Does dirty people always be very smart?I am not very sure.Anyway,he quite enjoy my sick jokes.Okay,let us forget about those "guys topic",those R-21 stuff I will discuss him privately.I think although he is in Poly now,I always feel a bit pity as I think he should go JC,he will succeed in future.Maybe someday later we will meet in university again,and when the time we meet each other,muhahahaha...my hands will go...okay,he knows what I will do to him,and I think he will enjoy it as he always do=)But during my 2 years JC life,as I cannot always see him,I need to find someone to instead of him,who will be the "lucky" one?I think these people later can group up a victim group,the name will be "victims which have been tortured by Ma Sai",and I am very sure that Russell will be the chairman of the group=)

Luckily,some of my dear friends get into the same JC as me,Yoong Aunn and Hui Hui,So I do not need to miss them.Hui Xin also get into the same JC as me,I think after Orientation,I will go find a time to "disturb" her=)Although Kendy not in same school as me,I will not miss the shortie,it is because almost everyday she will "scold" me(she does not mean it),hahaha,she just enjoy scolding me and I have already adapt to it.Without her scolding,can I fall in asleep tonight?But to be serious,I will worry about her,this girl need more confidence on herself.Anyway,I will do whatever I can do to help her,although she need to dependent on herself,my spiritual comfort also very important=)

2010-01-06T21:52:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I had a very very weird dream,I dreamed about someone who I do not want to dream of.In fact,I have tried to forget about her since the day she said we are impossible,but I cannot forget about her till now.Every moments when we are together,every scene and every word,everything seems just happen yesterday and I remember all of them clearly.

What make her so charmful and unforgettable?I am not really very sure,but one thing I really cannot wipe out from my brain is her smile.Since the day when she knows I have feeling to her,she never smile to me anymore.The only thing instead of smile on her face is embarrassment.I know what she feels and since she have already said we are impossible,I gave up on her.I know there is someone else and I hope she can be happy.But when we meet each other every time,both of us do not dare to look into each other's eyes,without smile,without saying "hello",just pass by each other silently,like a pair of strangers.

Yesterday I dreamed that she smiling to me,the smile which long time I never see.On one hand,I feel very sad as it was just a stupid dream,and the dream made me more sad.It made me wake up at 2 am and it took me another 1 hour to try to fall into asleep again.=.=On the other hand,I felt quite happy as her smile just like a wonderful magic,just by looking at it,you can forget all the sadness.

People always say that she cheat me and hurt me,they say she is not worth for me to chase.Maybe they are right but maybe they are wrong,I think she is innocent as I made my own decision to chase her,no one forced me.Everything happened naturally and suddenly,I even did not well-prepared and it just happened,without a sign or a reason.I promised myself I will forget about her,The two songs "as long as you love me" and "I want it that way" were actually sing for her.I know we are impossible and when can I forget about her?it is a question mark.

2009-11-17T07:12:00.003+08:00

Finally,O level was over!I believe that a lot people will use this long holiday to relax themselves,but for me,this holiday is definitely a suffering time.The reason is very simple,I had messed up my O level so do you think I still have mood to enjoy my holiday?

I just cannot get that why I am not in the form during the examination period and this is such a bored thing for me.I have prepared well before examination and as my standard,my raw marks for L1R5 can at least get 10 points,but this time,I do not think that I can achieve what I should achieve.After a few sleepless night,I still cannot forget about this bad feeling.In fact,this is my first time experience such feeling.I have never worry about my results before...Either I did not care about them or I could deal with them.I just cannot believe that how can I lost my form in such a important examination?Anyway,I do not know what the hell is going on in my mind,the only thing now I try to do is make myself calm down...

I was a bad student before,I mean my results were very lousy before,but I did not care about them as I was very young and know nothing at that time.After I went to Secondary 3(in China school),I started to realise the importance of studying and my results have never made me disappointed since that time,that was 6 years ago.Although I could not always be level top-one,my results could always send me into the top class or top-3 school easily.That was the reason why I did not need to worry about them,just be well-prepared before examination and do not be nervous during examination time,no matter how important the examination is,I can perform very well and show my real standard on my results.

My bad performance made me think of one of my best friend in my hometown,how to describe her?She was a legend in our secondary school as her results were super-good.For example,the best high school in our hometown need at least 510 marks then can go in,a lot of people wished to go into that school but 510 marks was too high for them.For many of them,they even cannot achieve 400 marks...but this girl,she could get about 600 marks EASILY...=.=...of course,after 3 years secondary school life,she entered the best high school in our hometwon EASILY...=.=...but then,her suffering time was coming,compare her secondary school results with her high school results,you can really find a very big difference.At that time,I even cannot believe that after she told me she was suffering as I thought that was impossible...and now,I got what she felt too.That was a really bad experience.

In fact,both of us have already adapted to get good results during examination,I know it is sounds quite pride,but can you just imagine that you can always perform well and constantly during examinations,will you still worry about your results?One of my another friend said that we need to learn how to face failure and I think she was right.Sometimes,failure was not a bad thing,it makes our mind clear.Our life track is like to take a roller coaster,up down,up down and no one can always remain in a high level.You cannot always be a winner and that situation only appears in movie.Now,it is time for me to be a loser,actually,I was a big loser during primary school,I never felt it just because I was dumb and did not care about my results at that time.

Anyway,I think I will adjust my mind,take a break and go back to my life battlefield again.I am still very young and I am very sure that there are still a lot of failures and difficulties waiting for me in the future.I will prepare myself to accept my lousy results and I will use this holiday to set some other future plans.I believe that I will be back soon=)

2009-10-01T18:38:00.002+08:00

依旧记得小时候，懵懵懂懂的我根本无法理解“祖国”这个词的深刻含义，更别提什么“爱国情怀”。那时的我只知道，中国曾经是一个很伟大的帝国，只不过是因为后来不思进取，输了几场不该输的仗，才沦落到后来任人宰割这个地步。当然，那时年少无知的我似乎把残酷的中国近代史看得太轻了些，虽然我经常听大人们说我们今天的幸福生活来之不易，但究竟为何来之不易？我终究是无法理解。直到后来，十岁的我第一次完完整整地读完了中国近代史之后，我才突然明白了中华民族曾经经历的耻辱与伤痛，我才突然明白了“祖国”与“国家”这两个词语的深刻含义，从那一天起，我忽然间感觉到自己的肩膀上似乎又多了一份重任，那便是不惜一切，建设并保卫自己的祖国！

其实，当我真正理解了中国近代史之后，我心中除了满腔的怒火便是久久不能抹去的仇恨……英法联军的蛮横，《南京条约》的耻辱。满清政府的无能，火烧圆明园的痛苦。甲午海战的惨败，《马关条约》的伤痛。八国联军的野蛮，《辛丑条约》的无奈。“二十一条”的无理，袁世凯的懦弱。日本人气焰的嚣张，“九一八事变”的呐喊。国民政府的不作为，“芦沟桥事变”的愤怒。日本军阀的凶残，南京大屠杀的悲惨……在这一个多世纪的时间里，中国人民经受了不曾有过的凌辱，沦为半殖民地后的沉默，以及被人贬低为“东亚病夫”的耻辱！在这短短的一百年里，我们饱受摧残，一个堂堂的大中国就这样倒下了……然而，“不在沉默中爆发，就在沉默中灭亡”，中国人民终于在彷徨中呐喊，终于用那千千万万的血肉之躯组成了我们新的长城……八年抗战不仅仅是对日本侵略者的反抗，更是发泄了百年来帝国主义对中国压迫的不满！于是，在1949年10月1日，在无数革命志士献出了他们宝贵的生命之后，中华人民共和国终于在那饱受战火摧残的土地上成立了，而中国历史也随之翻开了新的篇章！此时的我终于了解到为何我们今天的幸福生活来之不易，因为那是无数先辈用自己的鲜血换来得！为何中国的国旗要以红色为背景？那是因为战士的鲜血染红了它！

此时此刻，早已成熟的我已经忘却了年幼时的愤怒与仇恨，但多少年来，我一直坚信着，只有刻苦学习才能在将来建设并保卫自己的祖国！历史已经成为无法改变的事实，我们不应再去憎恨或埋怨什么，但历史却时刻为我们敲响警钟，而我们所要做的，就是避免历史重演，避免耻辱重演！“落后就要挨打”，而唯有科教才可以兴国！“少年强，则中国强”，作为祖国新一代的接班人，我们只有发奋图强，才能让那个曾经强盛无比的大中国重新屹立于世界的东方！

如今的我虽然与祖国相隔千山万水，但我的心却和祖国近在咫尺，因为自从我离开祖国的那一刻起，我就将我的心留在了那片生我养我的土地上。“为什么我的眼里常含泪水？因为我对这土地爱得深沉。”的确，我爱我的祖国，而祖国的利益永远高于一切！“中国是一头睡狮，一旦她醒来将会震撼整个世界，她在沉睡着，感谢上帝，让她继续睡下去吧！”法兰西帝国的皇帝拿破仑在200年前曾这样评价中国。如今，中国已经崛起，睡狮已经苏醒，而她给世界带来的，必将会是新的格局。在这新中国诞辰60周年之际，我想要说的便是祝您生日快乐，我们亲爱的母亲！

2009-09-20T20:06:00.002+08:00

Just came back home from hospital...I hate to go to hospital...=.=...The good thing was I was not the one who got sick,the bad thing was she got sick.As her parents,brother and sister all went to Malaysia enjoy their holidays(I always doubt that what kind of fun can Malaysia bring to you,I have been there once,and it is enough for me),so I had to accompany her to hospital(I got no choice as she got high fever).

She said she got fever because of me...=.=...that was the reason why she called me to accompany her as I must take the responsibility...=.=...I was totally confused as was there any link between me and the fever?She said she got fever as her throat got inflammation,and the inflammation caused by eating too much chocolate...and the chocolate was bought by me for her(She was good at linking two unrelative things together)...=.=...I spent a lot money and asked my father's pilot friend bought Delafee from Switzerland for her,but now,I was the one who should be blamed...Anyway,I knew that she did not mean to blame me,she just tried to find some stupid nonsense to make me feel guilty,also,she could ask for some unreasonable requests such as I need to carry her...=.=...she said she was 48kg but I did not think so.

It was hard to imagine that even she got sick,she still tried to make me feel guilty and make fun of me,but one thing she was right...She got fever because she ate too much chocolate(The doctor said so...=.=)...She was very happy when she heard that as she won...=.=...and she said that I must treat her at Pizzahut after she recovered as I made her get sick...Why everytime she love to choose Pizzahut?...T.T...Anyway,now she feel better which is a good thing for me,or I will be worry about it.

She made me think of another two girls who always like to get sick,my ex-girlfriend Xin Er and my best friend Xiao Xue,both of them are good at getting sick(and everytime when their parents not at home,I have to take care of them,that is why a lot of people say that I can be a good nurse...=.=)...xD,why girls always get sick so easily?I think they must go to do more exercise...Only eat one box of chocolate then can get sick,she is really weak...Hope she can recover soon=)

2009-09-06T22:05:00.004+08:00

"借口(Excuse)",another classic song by Jay Chou,I believe that if you are a Chinese Pop music fan,you must heard this song before...It is said that this song touch a lot of girls...xD...the sad sad piano melody plus sad sad lyrics,this song really show us the sadness which the singer try to express,if you just break up or feel depressed now,hope you can enjoy the music=)...Here's the lyrics:

翻着我们的照片(Looking at our pictures)
想念若隐若现(everything in my mind is about you)
去年的冬天(Still remember last winter)
我们笑得很甜(the happy smiles on our faces)
看着你哭泣的脸(Looking at your crying face)
对着我说再见(when you said farewell to me)
来不及听见(I have not caught them yet)
你已走得很远(but you have already walked away from me)
也许你已经放弃我(Maybe you have already gave up on me)
也许已经很难回头(Maybe you have alredy made your last decision)
我知道是自己错过(I know that these was all my fault)
请再给我一个理由说你不爱我(but please gave me another reason which can explain that you did not love me anymore)
就算是我不懂(Even though I was not understand you very well)
能不能原谅我(can you forgive me?)
请不要把分手当作你的请求(Please do not treat break up as your request)
我知道坚持要走是你受伤的借口(I know that you ask for breaking up is the excuse of you getting hurt)
请你回头(but please change your decision)
我会陪你一直走到最后(I will company you till the end of your life)
就算没有结果(Even though we are impossible)
我也能够承受(I still can bear it)
我知道你的痛(I know that every pains you got)
是我给的承诺(were caused by the promises I have gave)
你说给过我纵容(You said you have ever gave me forgiveness)
沉默是因为包容(You kept quiet because you try to comprehend)
如果要走请你记得我(If you really wanna go,please remember me)
如果难过请你忘了我(but if you feel painful,please forget about me!)

Haha...translate the lyrics by myself,do not know wether they are accurate or not=)Anyway,this song really make me think of those sad but happy memories I ever had with someone.I asked for breaking up when I still love her,I know that I hurt both of us but I got no choice...T.T...I felt very guilty for so many years but what can I do?Anyway,for so many years I did not change my handphone ring even though I have already changed my handphone a lot of times...It will always be this song-借口(Excuse),both of us love this song and I really miss the time when we are together,when she playing the piano and I singing this song...

2009-09-05T22:11:00.004+08:00

Long time never update my blog as recently I was quite busy,sorry about that=)Okay,now let me talk about what happened on me during these few days...

Firstly,I screwed up my Preliminary Examinations,the results I got were damn ugly!!!I felt very shameful when I thought of the results,how bad the results were?If I was not wrong,I had already been about 5 years never got such bad results,and now,just 2 months before O level examinations,I got them...I was a bit shocked but then,it might be a good thing as the bad results were like someone slapped on my face hardly,it made me wake up and stopped thinking of other meaningless stuff...Felt very bored now as my dad got new "excuse" to set some new rules for me thus I got less freedom...To be honestly,I felt very sick about the way my parents educate me...=.="

Secondly,I was happy that I did not screw up our Teachers' Day singing show=)At least most feedback I got were saying good things about me and ShiZe...By the way,thanks to those people who help and support us,I was very appreciate your help and supports=)

Thirdly,my pocket became empty!!!This was a very very very bad new for me...Last week cost too much...Cost more than $1000 on shoes...PS:I bought those NIKE shoes for collection only...xD..This week must save my spending,otherwise,got no money to go out eat with friends and watch movie.

Lastly,I got sick!High fever but not H1N1...The good thing was I do not need to go to school,the bad thing was I feel very bad...I think last time I got fever was 2 or 3 years ago?I was very hard to get sick...Anyway,I was almost recover now,even though my throat was still very painful...Tomorrow go Pizza Hut...Muhahaha,someone treat me as this time she lose the bet...xD...but the sad thing is my throat does not allow me to eat those kind of food...T.T...Hmmm...Maybe I should tell her change the date...xD

Tagboard:
To PAHKE:thank=)I will do my best=)6 points a bit hard lah,but I will try to achieve it,nothing is impossible,right?You also need to work on your study oh,next year you will be Sec4...Time flies,it will be very soon for you to face O level deh,so jiayou also=)

2009-08-15T19:41:00.003+08:00

...I ruined all the preliminary papers last week...I think I would not get 7 points in L1R5 again...=.=...I believe that I will be already very lucky if I can get less than 20 points...Ehhhh...I must find back my courage to face the stupid examinations!!!

Forget about the boring boring examinations...Now let me talk about me...What happened to me?I think I should listen to my best friends' ideas,(all of them are know me more than 10 years,so they will not anyhow make judgements on me)but unfortunately,mostly,I changed in a bad way...=(

1)My heart becomes weaker than before-I was a very strong boy before and I believed that I could solve every problems I met...but now,I feel tired and start to 力不从心...
2)I am not as brave as before-I was a very brave boy before,that was why I could achieve a lot of "impossible" things before...but now,I become fearful,I start to scare of failure or the kind of results which I do not hope to see...
3)I start to think about things in a very negative way-I was an optimistic person before,sometimes,I was even over-optimistic...but now,even I have the ability to achieve something,I think about the things negatively before I really do them or during the process I do them...
4)I become less confident than before-I was a confident person before,I always think that nothing is impossible for me(over-confident?)...but now,I think everything is impossible for me...=.=...this is really a drastic change...
5)I become less logical than before-I was a super logical person before,sometimes,my so called "logic" will made me very bold or mercyless...but now,I start to become emotional,I really feel very bad as I do not want to become as emotional as a girl...=.=...This is very serious problem for me as logic can help me solve a lot of problems and make me strong...
6)Sadness becomes the main theme of my life-I was a happy and joyful people before,my friends also said that they feel the power of happyness when they stayed with me...but now,I even cannot make myself happy so how can I make others happy?
7)I think that I am hopeless-I always could see the sunlights which are covered by dark clouds and the rainbow which appears after a rain storm...but now,I cannot see them at all...I really wonder am I blind or what?How can a person who always see hopes becomes the one who cannot see hope at all?

In fact,I also find these negative changes on me,I try to stop but I cannot stop...=.=...Anyway,I must find back myself as fast as I can,all the strength,braveness,happyness,joyness,confidence,hope and logic which I ever had,I must find them back!Now,I feel that I look like a stupid coward,always try to avoid problems and do not dare to face them directly.I know this is wrong and I will make a change!

Anyway,thanks to Xiao Xue,today one of her random question really inspire me and make me find the real problem in my life...The problem of my life is lack of passion and it becomes so empty since after I came to Singapore...Today she asked me,"Now you should be really happy,as you are not a students' community chairman of our high school,not the captain of our school basketball team,not the vice-captain of 仪仗队...You must feel very relaxable and comfortable after you took off all the burdens from your shoulders..."But actually,I feel empty and that is why I start to change in a bad way...I have already adapted to the stressful and busy life which I had have!It is true that as a chairman,school stuff made me sick as everyday I need to write and plan for a lof stuff!It is true that as a school basketball player,I had to go for training everyday for at least 3 hours and also need to join competition!It is also true that I hated my job at the stupid 仪仗队 as everyday we had to practise our square...continued practising steps and walk(this is the most boring thing I do in my life) dunno who many hours!But I was happy at that time as they enriched my life!Even though I also need to kept my results in level top 3 among 1200 plus students,I felt happy=)Not like now,put so much time on computer game or try to make girlfriend and other stupid things!I think I really need to find back the goal and pace of my life,and I believe,the original me will be back soon=)

2009-08-06T22:41:00.001+08:00

Recently,I was really not happy with the lesson arrangement of my school...The principal continued adding on extra lessons for us and I believed that it has already exceed the limit.I knew that our principal just worried about our results and tried to "force" us to improve them,but did she really think that add more extra lessons will help us on our study?I could not think in the way she thinks so I could not answer my own question,anyway,I was not her and if I was her,I would not make such decision...

Extra lessons were really make me sick,I felt powerless and had no motivation to study.For me,extra lessons almost equalled to sleeping lessons,but of course,I could not get a well sleep as I had to sleep on hard small desk instead of my soft big bed and always got "disturb" by teachers...=.=...I hoped that I could take only one month rest,just one month was enough for me to prepare and face the challenges of O level examinations!

Now I really suffered from school days,I did not need a relaxable holiday but I need to revise by myself!I always can keep a high efficiency of study when I studied in my house!I did not know what others think about extra lessons and maybe they need the guides of teachers...but for me,definitely,I need to study by myself,but not rely on anybody else...

I hoped the stupid extra lessons can go to the hell!

Tagboard:To JM:lol...is qing mei zhu ma lah...you really should go to learn han yu pin yin loh!but anyway,thanks your suggestion...we are just good friends,full stop,that's all=)

2009-08-03T18:49:00.000+08:00

Recently I was very very busy as I got a lot of things need to do...My study,friends and future plans,all of these things drove me crazy!!!Luckily,I became super smart again and my clear mind really helped me solve all of these matters=)Now,let me talk about what happened during these few days...

Last Friday,my best female friend Xiao Xue and her family arrived in Singapore,their main purpose was to visit my family and had a short stay.I was quite happy about that as I got long time never see her and really really miss her even though we chated online almost everyday...But the feelings of chating online and talk to each other face to face is totally different...Anyway,she was here now and I was sure that we would have a lot of fun=)

Last Saturday,my father fetched me to shave my hair...=.=...I hate it as everytime I was shaved untill like a monk!!!At night,my family went out eat with Xiao Xue's family at East Coast...(Obviously,I did not like to go to public place as my stupid hairstyle...>.<)I believed that the one who missed me mostly is not Xiao Xue,but her grandma...=.=...She really treated me as some kind of superstar(even though I got a ugly hairstyle)...=.=...Anyway,I am always welcomed by elderly...During the dinner,they always talked about my private business,especially my future girlfriend...T.T...that always be the most sensitive topic which I do not want them to talk about it,thus,I ran away from them and went to East Coast Park to breathe some fresh air.Xiao Xue followed me there and we walked along the beach,we talked about the beautiful memories which we had have in China...Haha...those memories really made me want to go back my country=)After we finished the so called "dinner",it was already 11pm plus...What a tired day it was!But I really got a lot of fun=)

Yesterday,I slept untill 12 plus and after I woke up,I found that Xiao Xue was in my house!!!OMG!!!Why nobody told me this thing first?Suddenly got a girl in my house and even she was someone who I knew for almost 20 years...I still felt very weird...=.=...She said my family and her family went out shopping but she did not want to follow them...(Adults always go to some boring boring stores buy some boring boring stuffs...=.=)She also told me that she just changed her idea and wanted to stay with me untill her school summer holiday end...That was a super good new for me as recently I really need someone who can be trusted to talk with...She is the best choice!!!She also curious that why suddenly I changed to someone who try to seek for help...as in her eyes,I am always the kind of "lonely hero" who like to solve problems by myself and do not need others' help.

Anyway,prelim will start soon,and Xiao Xue start to force me to study again...tomorrow still have A Math mock test...Ehhhhh...Life is full of examinations for students...=.=

2009-07-28T18:40:00.001+08:00

Definitely,we screwed up our A*STAR Science Competition!!!In fact,I thought that we were well-prepared,but then,we were totally owned by judges...=.=...They asked a lot of stupid and unreasonable questions which made me really wanted to kick their asses!Their questions were so unexpected and actually,for some questions,they even did not know what the hell did themselves ask for...

Our sicence project was quite simple,the aim of project was just investigate and compare the usefulness and difference among the papers which made by different materials.However,the two dump dump judges did not think so,they might think that we were plan to open a paper making factory!The first stupid question they asked was could they got hurt by using our paper...o.O...They thought that as we used sodium hydroxide to pulp the fibres thus the paper made might be poisonous...What the hell?We made paper to write,not to eat as food!Also,we used low concentration of sodium hydroxide,not the kind of very high concentration which can kill people!They even did not know what was mole?I believed that they were really stupid untill cannot stupid anymore!!!

The second question which made me want to kill them was they said if a professor who from NUS interested in our project,how would we contact with him?o.O???How can I know?Call him or e-mail him?They also talked about standard way to test the quality of papers,even though the questions seems to be reasonable,they forgot about that we were just students!We did not have so much money to buy the expensive apparatus and our school also could not provide to us...I believed that they asked these questions just want to show how smart they were,but in fact,they were the most idiot guys I ever have seen on this earth!It was because everytime before they tried to ask something,they obviously did not use their brains to think about it...I believed that this was such a waste that they had human brains in their heads but never use them before...=.=

The last thing which made me angry with them was they were earth killer but money lover.Nowadays,every countries tried to put their own effort to save the earth,but they really did not care about our environment and put economy at first position!We said that after sugarcane used to make sugar,the things left could be used as a paper making source,but they said burn them to generate electricity will be a better way as that way could get more economic benefits...They were definitely the kind of person who change our beautiful earth to bloody hell as the only thing they wanted was money,money and much more money...=.=

Anyway,the competition was done,this should be the last competition I joined in my secondary life,I hoped that we could get a perfect ending but after we met such critical-sick judges,will we get what we really want?After everyone put so much effort,will the only thing we get back is disappointment?

2009-07-26T19:07:00.000+08:00

Today I spent whole day to practise calligraphy,my parents got shocked as I have not practised it for almost 10 years.In fact,I hated calligraphy,it was because my parents forced me to learn it when I was only 6 years old...I had to stay at home and wrote a lot of pages of calligraphy when other children played outside...For me,calligraphy was one of the killers who killed my childhood even though everytime my Chinese teachers said that because of calligraphy I could write very beautiful Chinese words...but today,I really found some kind of feeling which I never found it before during the practice.The feeling was peace!

Actually,I practised calligraphy just because I need to write the word "谦"(our class name) on our class pullover.My original purpose was try to write the word more perfect and beautiful,but during the practice,I found peaceful feeling.It was very weied that I did not have such feeling during the time when I learning calligraphy(I spent totally about 3 years to learn it).I enjoyed the feeling of peace as recently,my life really drove me crazy!Confusion,lost,sadness and all of the negative motions have became the main rhyme of my life.I got no mood to study or even to do examination paper(that's why recently most part of my paper is blank...=.=).Anyway,the peacefully feeling made me find back the real me,even it was temporarily,I still quite enjoyed it...

Maybe after all of this time,I will start to practise callipgraphy again and treat it as one of my hobby,I may also start to seal cutting(篆刻-another kind of Chinese traditional cultrue) again...I think soon,the cultural Ma Sai will be back^^

2009-07-19T18:45:00.002+08:00

Recently I was either very suay or very busy...no mood or no time blogging.Now,let me tell you what happened to me during these few days...

Wednesday:
1)Our precious PE lesson got cancelled just because a stupid supervisor!!!He was really an extra man...=.=
2)Anyway,I did not waste my time,I used the PE lesson to copy math homework...xD

Thursday:
1)I got heart pain and difficulty in breathing...I had to leave school at about 12:30 and sent to a private clinic.After about 15 minutes check,the doctor told me that my heart was healthy...but my physical pains were caused by mental problem=.=...(since when he became a psychologist?)Anyway,I did not know what did he say to my father,I did not think that I will die soon...=.=
2)I felt very uncomfortable today and slept for about 10 hours...

Friday:
1)Physics O level SPA skill 3 test on today!!!>.<...I did not read the notes which Mr. Chang gave us yesterday at all as I got sick...=.=...Anyway,the bad new was I did not do perfect in test,the good new was,I did not screw it.From now on,as all the physics SPA tests were done,I could either threw the physics SPA book or burn it...xD
2)I played basketball with WeiSheng,KaiYang,HongSen and others,I got about 20+ rebounds,20+ points,5+ steals,3+ blocks and 5+ assists in about 40 minutes...HAHA,I got fun=)
3)I got scolded by my father just because I played basketball.He said that doctor suggested me took a good rest and better did not do any exercise...He said I might get killed by just playing basketball...Anyway,I did not think I will die so easily...xD
4)My father bought another bottle of Remy Martin Louis 13...Muhahaha,maybe I should try to drink it again...xD
5)My father bought a new laptop...At first,I thought he bought it for me,but actually,he bought it for himself to check his stock...=.=
6)Today,my father was really happy as his stocks earned him about $90000 even though he still suffered about $10000 loss...He played these stocks for almost 2 years and he always lost money...=.=...Anyway.money were earned by him.

Saturday:
1)I went to eat lunch with HongSen,WeiSheng,Dominic,Perlin,Janna and others...I did not eat anything...I tried to lose weight recently as my 6 pieces were going to disappear!!!I ate too many chocolates and ice-cream...=.=
2)After lunch,I followed WeiSheng,Perlin,Dominic and Shermaine to play basketball...I had fun...If Janna and HongSen could follow us then would be better...but unfortunatelly,they got tuition...
3)I reached a basketball court where near VJC at about 6 pm and played a friendly match.I played as a PF(power forward) and got 25 points,21rebounds,5blocks,3assists and 6 steals during 48 minutes...I really enjoyed the match!!!
4)I did not eat dinner...LOSE WEIGHT!!!

Tagboard:
To Russell:You know why I start to prey on boys?It is because I either got rejected or hurt by girls!I really cannot take the pain anymore...T.T

To YA:I promise that I will keep touching your bum and I will keep it up...=)Also,if as you said you only gave =.= face when you feel very bored,then you must be very bored in every day,every hour,every minute and every second...It is because your face always like that...=.=...But I love your bored face...xD

2009-07-14T17:27:00.005+08:00

To my dear Mr. Tan Yoong Aunn:

My cute sweet stunning Tan Yoong Aunn,now,I officially announce that I have to divorce with you.When the word "divorce" came from my mouth,I really could feel the pains.I really really really really really really really love you,but why you abandoned me and fell in love with a stupid gay whose name is Valerian Neo?It is true that I am more handsome,charmful and rich than him!I really could not understand why you betrayed me...Is it just because he is more gay than me?Is it the only reason why you fell in love with him?Now,I know that you are not only a gay,but also a flirt gay!

Tan Yoong Aunn,I am really disappointed about you!From your face,the only thing I could see is honesty...but under your honest face,you are such a dirty person!I really want to tell everyone that you are a 披着羊皮的狼!"你伤害了我，还一笑而过……"I sang the stupid song time and time again,it is true that your shiny smile cheated me,but now,I am wake up!You could play dirty,but I will fight back!

I still could not forget the first time I saw you,you are totally motionless(so cool).At first,I really thought that you were a freak!From your face,the only motion I could see was =.=...but your stunning look really attracted me and I could not control myself to fall in love with you.I still remembered that everytime when I played WolfTeam(a kind of shooting game) with you,I always try to use my super accurate sniper gun to shoot your hairless head,but then,everytime when you die I felt very guilty!Finally,I persuaded myself do not shoot your head anymore,instead,I started to snipe your small and cute butt...I really could not delete every wonderful moments which we had have from my brain,but then,I really got hurt,I was hurt by my love,and now,I still can hear the echo which caused my heartbroken...

I remembered that few days ago,when I sat on your chair and tried to share the chair with you,you used you skinny and cute butt "attack" me...I felt the pain when my butt told me that,"Master!!!We are under attack!"I felt a bit angry thus commanded my butt counter-attack and kicked your ass...At the moment,I saw a kind of very very very gay look from the other side staring at us,the look came from Valerian!He seems very enjoyed the "show" brought by us!At that moment,I felt scared as I knew that he fell in love with you...How could I compete with him,even though I was more handsome,rich,smart and muscular,he is the god of gay and the most important thing is he is more gay than me!I knew that I could not satisfy your strong desire and lust,thus,I quit,we are done from now on!Go to find your new partner and leave me alone!

I loved the kind of person who either surname is "Tan" or has tan color skin,to be honestly,you satisfy the both of criteria...As now,you have already left me,I have to make myself move on and I find a new option,he is Russell John Chuah,even though his surname is not "Tan",but his skin is tan!and his butt is more attractive and sexy than you and I really love it!!!Most importantly,he is smarter then you,thus our children can be more smart!!!(I have to think for my next generation)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This letter is just for fun only,do not treat it seriously:)Neither me nor Yoong Aunn are gays or bisexual,but for Valerian,definitely,he is a gay....he call himself GG(god of gay)...=.=

2009-07-09T18:18:00.002+08:00

Today I felt very tired as last night I only slept for 3 hours...ZzZz...I slept at first lesson-HCL,but the stupid teacher scolded me,she said what even my Chinese is strong,but I still got the chance to get lower than A1...Did she try to curse me or what?Just saw what did she write on my composition paper,she wrote I did not write any reason in my composition...What the hell?I used about 200 words to write about the so called "reason",do not tell me that she did not see that...my face was totally =.= at that time...She also tried to show off her Chinese history knowledge on Tuesday...=.=...She said that July 7th in 1937 is the day which Japanese officially start to invade China,then I really wanted to ask her did she know that what is the date of September 18th in 1931?Did she know that what is the date of October 10th in 1934?Did she also know that what is the date of September 9th is 1945?Please do not try to show off your Chinese history knowledge in front of me,okay?Please also do not try to be a historian in front of me as I kept on learning those things since I was 4 years old...=.=

Anyway,one thing made me very happy was yesterday she finally talked to me and clarified the relationship between me and her...Even though I had been rejected again,I did not feel very sad,at least the reason why she rejected me was not because I got an ugly face...xD...I said I would use my heart bet on her again and she really did not make me disappointed:)As promise,I would respect her choice,even I really did not want to give up,but she was right,no one could force her.She said time could heal the wounds,maybe this principle suited to most people?but definitely,I belonged to those special people...Time coundn't let me forget about her as I did love her,but I won't treat her rejection as a wound,I would keep it as a beautiful memory...My friends asked me will I really give up on her or will me go to find another girl?I said I didn't know where is my next station...a bit lost,anyway,一切随缘 and we are still friends:)

Busy!!!I need to finish up the stupid physics pratical file by tonight...I hate the stupid SPA!!!

Tagboard:
To JM:Do not support the stupid penguin...xD...We are humans...but she's just a bird who cannot fly...=.=...also,forget the part I try to kiss and hug someone,better delete it from your brain FOREVER...that kind of memory definitely waste your brain space...From now on,no one knows there got such thing...xD

To Promiser198:LOL,of course I still know you,I got super memory...haha,do you still playing Maple now?I quit for long time...

To huihui:You are such a penguin...=.=...next time I should not use penknife chase after you,I will use shotgun hunt you!!!xD

2009-07-08T17:16:00.004+08:00

Recently,I talked about a lot of sad things on my blog,it was ture that I was very sad these days and I promise you that my bad mood will continue.Today,as some people always got misunderstanding or wondered what kind of girl I really like,now,I will show you what is my standard.

(1)She must be very 乖,this is really important to me as I don't want the kind of crazy girl to be my girlfriend!Crazy girl will drive my life crazy...xD
(2)She must be understanding and caring:)
(3)She must act as a girl,I want a girl to be my girlfriend but not a boy!
(4)She must be nice and kind:)
(5)She must be very faithful as I hope I can marry her when she is ready:)
(6)She must be very beautiful!I don't mean that she is the kind of super beauty who has a sweet face or hot figure.I am not such a superficial guy,she is beautiful means she can just be a normal person with a normal face,but she must make me think that she is beautiful...=.=...Hard to explain...Hope you can understand...xD
(7)She must love me!but not love the money in my wallet or the power of my family...
All of these 7 points are the things she must have...and now,I will list some optional requirements:
(1)She can play piano?
(2)She is sweet and cute?
(3)She is blur?Everyone knows that smart girl is really hard to deal with...
(4)She is a 半糖主义者？This means that we can give each other freedom and space.I don't like the kind of girl everyday call you go out to shopping or eating as I am also very busy>.<
(5)She is higher than 160cm?
(6)She is not fat...Sorry,I don't mean that fat is bad or ugly...xD
(7)She has long hair?I just have the special feeling to those long hair girls...>.<

Haha...these are my 14 requirements,half of the 14 is standard but another half of 14 is optional.I don't know whether my standard is too high or not but in fact I ever met such girls who fit these requirements.Actually,I think her character is more important than her appearance!But sometimes,you know,even she doesn't fit all of the standard requirements,I still will fall in love with her...Maybe this is because the power of love makes me lower my standard?Anyway,I think those requirements for almost 1 hour...=.=...Some people always say that I like sexy girl,I am really sorry,they are definitely wrong...xD

Tagboard:
To JM:lol...forget about I use penknife chase after hui hui la.I can use penknife chase after her everyday even I am not drunk,as sometimes,I have the crush to kill her...Just kidding...xD...the girl who is kissed and hugged by me must be very lucky loh...HaHa..She is the chosen one!!!But I really cannot remember that I try to kiss and hug someone...=.=...You all want to see me got drunk again?Okay,I will think about it.
To hui hui:It's showtime now,but i still suffer from the pain and cannot find any feelings...I need to transform to god form as fast as I can!!!

2009-07-07T16:52:00.005+08:00

Finally,my father was totally recovered from his stamoch pain.I was very glad to see that he could cook for us again(his cooking skills are much more better than my mum's).Now,he is cooking at the kitchen and I can feel the sweet smell:)

Anyway,if you ask me what kind of man I want to be,definitely,I will say I want to be the same kind of man like my father:)He is a responsible,strong,smart and successful man who always put his career and family at first position.I started to respect him since I was very young,at that time,I always heard my nerghbours and his friends talking about him.They always said that he was such a genius who they never saw before,for them,my father seems already became a lengend.He was the only one person who could get full marks for all of his 7 subjects during the time he studyed in London.Even now,when people talking about him,they still use "前无古人，后无来者".I know it was a bit exaggerate but it was true that till now,no one can break his record.I still remembered that every year when his company choose the best employee of the year,he always inside the list(actually,I don't care whether he can get the cup or not,I more interest in the premium...Just kidding...xD).He always be a model role for others and he always tried to make himself more perfect(that's why even he was working,he still tried to study and got Master degree).

My maternal grandmother always said that,"he is a real man!I am very happy that my daughter can marry him!"That's why they always expect me a lot,they hope that I can achieve more than my father..."虎父无犬子","老子英雄儿好汉"they always said those words to encourage me...But untill now,I think that I still cannot do better than him,I could continue getting level top one in my high school life,I could continue getting 5 subjects level top one in my high shool,but I really could not get full marks in 7 subjects(I only learn 6 subjects...=.=...in fact,I even cannot get 1 full mark among 6...T.T) .

Anyway,I try to be as good as my father.Even though I cannot be as smart as him(I am a stupid boy...=.=),I promised myself that I would achieve more in the future!

Still suffering from having been rejected...Just came back from gym and boxing for almost half hour...Now,I felt better but the sandbag must felt very pain...T.T...As I use my full power to hit the sandbag everytime(there already got blood clot in my right hand back...Am I try to torture myself?).There also got a stupid people asked me whether I am interested in joining boxing team...=.=...he said I got the potential to be a good fighter(I have already proved this 8 years ago!)...Was he kidding me?I didn't want to be a fighter as I did not want to get the Parkinson'Disease...

Tagboard:
To huihui:I am so kind and nice to you,how could I chase after you with a penknife?Also,I didn't try to kiss and hug anybody...=.=

To PAHELOHHHHH:It's true that dreams don't mean anything.but then,the dreams still make me very sad...T.T

To YA:Ya,it's ture that there are plenty of fish in the sea,but the problem is everytime when I fishing,I could not get the fish I want,and the fishes which I don't want always come to find me...=.=...They even jump into my boat from the sea and make my boat sink...Also,be careful,there are sharks in the sea...xD

2009-07-06T17:07:00.003+08:00

I do not know why recently I am so unlucky...It seems that Miss Lucky broke up with me and Miss Unlucky started to fall in love with me...=.=...The bad luck not only effect me but also my family(that's what I did not want to see).Firstly,My father's stock make a loss of totally $10000 till now.Secondly,I was rejected by Hwa Chiong Junior College,the people who rejected me said every subjects of mine were quite good and acceptable except the stupid(I add this word) English,he said if I could get A2 and above,they would like to accept me...I really did not know whether the person got brain or not,if my English could get A2 and above,my average score would be at least 80.Also,if my English result was so good,my three sciences would not just hang in between 75 to 80,they could be higher...At that situation,definately,I would not choose Hwa Chiong...=.=...Thirdly,my right foot got injury and I had to stay at home for almost whole June holiday,no more basketball,soccer,tennis and swimming,the kind of life was really drive me crazy.Forthly,I was rejected by a girl,that was painful...T.T...And now,my bad luck seems already effected my father again,he got serious sick...

Everything started since yesterday noon,he came back home with a painful face.He did not eat anything at all and went to his bedroom,he was really streaming with sweat at that time and he said his abdomen area was very painful.I checked and made sure that the place which got problem was his stomach.At first,I thought he was just eat something wrong and thus I went to Bedok and bought medicine for him.I believed that he could recover soon if he had a good rest...My mother was totally panic.In fact,both of us know that my father's health state was not very good since when I was very young.I did not go for tuition as if there really something going wrong,my mother could not settle it.I stayed at home and did traditional Chinese medicine massage for him.Usually,the massage worked very well on stomach pain but this time,it did not work at all...I knew something start to going wrong but I cheated my mother that everthing was fine(I just did not want her to be panic as panic did not help at all),my face was very calm though I started to worry about him and I tried to persuade my father go to hospital,but he refused to do so.I knew the reasons,he was so ungenerous to himself as he did not want to pay the medical bills.

I always told him that he should be more generous to himself as even world economy was down,our economy was still very good and could pay for the "expensive" medical bills.Even though,he still refused to listen to me.I pretended to be very angry and said:"Don't try to be the so called lonely hero or ironman,OK?Your body and health were more important than money,just listen to me and go to see doctor now!"But he still refused to do so,I knew that my father is always be the kind of person who was kind to me and my mother but treat himself very badly...I called one of his friend and he brought some good medicine for my father at night,but the medicine still could not solve the problem...Finally,he could not bear the pain anymore and after he suffered for more than 8 hours,he agreed to go to the hospital.His friend drove him here and what made me unhappy was-after a simple check,the stupid doctor just said it was stomach problem!I was totally =.=...I knew this thing 8 hours ago and now he used the kind of serious tone told me obvious fact again?He gave my father some medicine,and the fact was they were all useless!!!

At midnight,I had to follow him go to airport as even he was sick,he still need to go to sign to let the plane take off.As he could not drive,I drove his car instead of him,I thought this was my first time drive his car since last time I crashed his baby BMW on a pole when I reversing the car(He did not scold me at that time but did not allow me drive his car anymore...T.T)I drove very carefully,only 60 km/h...=.=...that was turtle speed...but then,safety first...When the time we went back home was almost 2 am...Even I was tired,I still cannot fall into sleep as I really worried about him...

Anyway,he feels better now as he went to another hospital and found a wise doctor this morning.I was glad to see that he can drive car again...and tonight I don't need to be his private driver and bodyguard,but I will miss the feelings when I drive his car...T.T...I hope that I can suffer the pain instead of him as he's the one who I love most,he's already an old man and cannot suffer too much pain...By the way,to my friends,do not to close to me recently as I don't want to spread the unluck virus to you:)

2009-07-05T12:36:00.003+08:00

This is Jay Chou's song-搁浅.If translate 搁浅 to English,I think I should use "strand".Anyway,this song tried to express that the lover cannot maintain or continue their relationship.The piano rhythm express the feelings of sadness and pain perfectly,I love this song,and everytime when I was sad I always listen to it and thus can feel better...T.T

This is the lyrics and hope you can enjoy the MV:)

久未放晴的天空

依旧留着你的笑容

哭过却无法掩埋歉疚

风筝在阴天搁浅

想念还在等待救援

我拉着线复习你给的温柔

暴晒在一旁的寂寞

笑我给不起承诺

怎么会怎么会你竟原谅了我

我只能永远读着对白

读着我给你的伤害

我原谅不了我

就请你当作我已不在

我睁开双眼看着空白

忘记你对我的期待

读完了依赖

我很快就离开

2009-07-04T17:02:00.003+08:00

Last night I just could not stop myself to continue thinking of her,I even dreamt of her and thus,I did not rest well.I really got hurt,really,even I tried to let it go,but I did not think I can free myself in short time.I woke up at 5am today and could not fall into sleep again,I felt very numb and heartless,actually,I felt like a zombie.Luckily,I did not feel very hungry,otherwise,I would go out and bite people everywhere...=.=...My father took my mother go to IMM to shopping and would go back by afternoon.I did not have mood to study and even play games,so I just sat on bed and looked at the sea through window blankly.

In fact,the whole morning I was quite okay,but the funny,stupid and silly things started to happen after noon.Firstly,I felt very hungry,so I need to cook by myself,but then,I found that even though I put my heart into refrigerator,I still had the bitter taste in my chest!Therefore,I opened a box of Ferrero Rocher and ate all of them as lunch(totally 25 "golden balls")>.<
I woke up at about 5pm and my head was really painful,at that time,I realized that I got drunk just now...=.=...My father has already came back home and I found that he was emoing on the sofa."I know that these days you feel quite bad,but you should not anyhow pour my wine into toilet!"he said to me peacefully."I did not pour your precious collection into toilet,instead,I drank them all"My father was totally stunning...O.O..."Since when you learn how to drink and do you have any idea about what did you drink?"he asked me again..."I just learnt how to drink and I don't know what wine I drank just now."...My father's face is really =.= for a few minutes and said,"you just drank a Remy Martin Louis 13 which cost me more than $2000."I apologized to my father and actually,he did not try to blame me or scold me."Anyway,you are happy now?I wanna cry...but don't do such stupid thing next time,okay?"He said to me.

Why everytime I try to learn how to drink but always fail?Good question!The frist time I drank wine is 10 years ago,I accidently drank only a little wine and got drunk...I remebered it happen in Chinese New Year and even though outside is very cold,I felt very hot!!!(It is very weird to feel very hot in a cold winter...)And then,I slept for whole afternoon...After I woke up,my grandpa said to my father,"what a pity,my grandson doesn't have potential to be a good drinker..."Second time I drank was last year,as we managed to do a physics project and need a wine bottle,so I drank the whole bottle of low alcohol wine...After that,my group member got scared.My face turned to very red and I try to hug and kiss somebody(this is what they told me but I don't believe as I won't so easy to give my first kiss to someone),I started to moonwalking and singing and maybe it was looks like MJ's show.They even took videos of me(they are very bad!!!).After that,I used color papers cut a lot of hearts and they used hearts which is cut by me as a decoration of the project=.=...

Anyway,I won't try to drink anymore,it is not because I will get drunk,it is because my father will get heart attack..."You drink Remy Martin Louis 13 as apple juice?OMG!!!You are the most horrible people in this world"This is what my father said,after he said this,he went to lock up all his precious wine collection...but unfortunately,I think I know the password of his safe .

2009-07-03T18:55:00.002+08:00

Today is Friday!For me,Friday means a lot,it is because tomorrow do not need to go to school and I do not need to wake up at 5 am!ROCKS!!!:):):)

Today I heard that Janna said I was try to hiding my true feelings...Hmm...and Hmm...and another Hmm...and I believed that she was right as I really pretend to be very happy.HAHAHA...I cheat myself again...xD...Anyway,do not worry about me:)as I am very strong(both mentally and physically!),thanks all the comforts and help which were given by Ben,Hongsen,Janna,Winnie and others.It is true that I cannot let it go so fast(maybe I need 3 or more years)as I am the kind of people who treasure love too much,but I will do my best to free myself from the pain.(I can achieve this by removing my heart from my chest...BLEEDING!!!)

I would not hate the girl who hurt me as she did not make me fall in love with her(met her and fell in love her was just a beautiful mistake in my life...xD),the whole thing was caused by myself and Cupid.Now,let us talk about Cupid.I really want to complain about him!!!Firstly,he always use a piece of cloth cover his eyes,thus he makes love become blind(Can he just take off the piece of cloth?Does he try to be cool or what...=.=)!Secondly,his shooting skill is really really very bad,sometimes,he just anyhow shoot us(Maybe he should try to use sniper gun with scope instead of his bow!),and I think I got a shoot on my ass...T.T...so please aim first then shoot,okay?(He covers his eyes,so how can he aim accurately?Good question!!!=.=)Lastly,he never think before he shoots his "love arrows",can he just take a little time to think about whether the targets which choosen by him is match or not?The magic arrows are on his hands and please do not make us heartbreak...because it is really hurt and painful!!!Anyway,I have already throw my heart into the refrigerator,I will frozen it for some time and during this period of time,no matter how "hot" the girl is,she cannot melten my cold heart:)

After all,luckily,I found back my feelings to face examinations.The feelings are very important to me as it can secure that I get A1 in most of my subjects.Now,I felt very confident and I believed that I can achieve all the goals which I made in 'O' level:)

2009-07-02T18:01:00.008+08:00

HAHA...After yesterday's depression,now I feel really great.In fact,I felt quite bad in this morning and afternoon,during the math lesson,I was totally get lost.What was worse,teacher used the whole math lesson to do a test...=.=...I stared at the paper and my brain was totally blank,actually,I really did not have the mood to do the test paper as I was still thinking of her. 30 minutes passed very fast and I only did a few questions,I thought that the questions which I did was already enough for me to pass.My A math always remain at high standard and often can get full marks,but now,Mr. Full Mark was really confused as I might only just pass this time!

"What's wrong with me?"I asked myself,"Is this the kind of life I really want?"At that moment,all the confusions in my brain disappeared and my brain suddenly became very clear."I should give up on her!"I told myself confidently even though I was still love her."For me,studying was more important than any other things."The kind of feeling which just pass my A math stimulated my brain and made me wake up!

To be honestly,I really got lost after I fell in love with her,I became stupid and dumb and really did not want to put any focus on studying.I have somnambulated in my whole June holiday and did not touch my text books at all!But now,the real Ma Sai is back,I remember all of the goals which I made for myself and all the promises which I made to myself,I knew that I had forgotten all of them,but now,everything become so clear and even more clear than before.I was so happy that finally I found back the real me!

My guarding angel is back again,even though she just recovered from H1N1...=.=...She gave me power and made me become stronger.I heard that phoenix was reborn from the dust,and me,Ma Sai was reborn from the fire of hell."Welcome back to earth"I told myself as I just came back from hell.It is ture that the positive and optimistic Ma Sai was murdered by love,it is also ture that I had fallen into the hell and became very negative,but now,I was reborn and I become more positive and optimistic which I never have been.I came back to earth just because I have not finished everthing I promised to myself.Now,my results are far far away from the O lvl target which I set for myself,as there are still 3 months left,audience please take a seat and watch Ma Sai how to use these 3 months to change my future!For me,it's show time now!!!

By the way,as I just found back myself,so I will join my basketball friends and go to KTV have some fun tonight:)

2009-07-01T18:12:00.002+08:00

What if I get rejected by her?That what I am thinking now.Simple question but hard to answer.Will I get heart attack at the moment when she says "NO"?I hope that some kind people can use canno blow off my heart first brfore she reject me...=.=...You may ask since when I become so negative?To be honestly,the confident and optimistic Ma Sai has already murdered by love!

"Cheer up!Man!"I heard the sound come from heaven,but I think recently,my guarding angel either get sick or not at home as she is not guarding me anymore.I try to tell myself that there still have hope,even only a little,but then,the dark clouds on the sky block the only hope I can see.Therefore,I feel hopeless.

Anyway,sky is no long blue for me,water is no long clear for me,air is no long clean for me,I feel like died.Ma Sai is really depressed.Now,I get insomnis because of her,I totally become a vampire,cannot fall into sleep at night!God seems don't like to help as he said I am not a faithful followers,but the demons in the hell told me that,"they have already left a place for me in hell!"Whatever...What is the difference between earth and hell?I am already become a half died man as my heart is died.I told demons that,"Take whatever you want,my soul,my body,just please leave my died heart in the grave peacefully as I still love her..."

2009-07-01T17:13:00.002+08:00

I HATE EXTRA LESSONS!!!Everyday stay till so late,extra lessons are really very extra!Since teacher told us we would have extra lessons again,I felt that my beautiful and joyful life will end soon,and I would go back hell again!Sometimes,I really believed that I should not take triple science,I hate this kind of stressful life.Anyway,if teachers want to drag me to hell,I just go in bravely,it is because there always have some ways to escape from hell,right?Hopefully,I can go back earth soon.

The extra lessons really destroy my revise plan,I prefer to study by myself rather than listen to teachers.I just think study by myself is a more efficient way.Why teachers always like us to go back school?I know they are kind and want to teach us more,but did they ever think that their extra lessons are suitable for everyone?老师领进门，修行靠个人！I really think that I need more time to study by myself...

2009-06-30T19:58:00.002+08:00

Today got two little young girls call me ah peh=.=...One is Amanda,another one is Janna...LOL?Did I look very old?Anyway,this is not first time others call me "old",the "fat" mosquito Ong YiWen always argue with me about how old I am,she said I was 20,but I said I was 19...=.=Actually,I don't mind they treat me as "elderly",it is because they just jealous that I am older than them,I can go to watch M18 movie but they cannot.They also jealous that I am more mature than them.In a word,to be "old" is not a bad thing>.<(Did you ever heard that everyone should 善待老人？)

I really missed my girl today,actually,she's not my girl yet=.=I still had not decided whether I should tell her my true feelings or not,I just felt very confused.I wished that she would not reject me just because I am "old"....O.o

2009-06-29T19:46:00.002+08:00

Today was the first day of new school term,I felt very bored just beause holiday ended at yesterday and school reopened at today.I used my three handphones to set three morning bells today morning,but they all didnt wake me up,luckily,I woke up at 5:25 automaticly and got to school in time.I really hated to wake up so early in morning,also,1:00 pm should be my noon sleeping time but now I had chemistry lesson.I tried to keep myself awake but I was so sleepy,finally,I could not held it anymore and fell into asleep in English lesson(after chemistry lesson)...ZzZz...Luckily,I slept in English lesson but not chemistry lesson,otherwise,I sure got kill by chemistry teacher...=.=...Anyway,school life finally ended at 2:45 pm,I wondered what did I usually do in school...Except sleep,copy homework,sit on chair and pretend to listen to teacher but actually my whole brain is blank.Have I done anything meaningful or just waste my life?In a word,I DISLIKE SCHOOL!!!

2009-06-29T18:49:00.003+08:00

HI,Ma Sai here:)
This is my new English blog,from now on,this blog is open "officially".I will try to update it regularly and I hope that everyone who visit this blog can have some fun.

In this blog,I will express my real feeling and and share them with all of you,you may find a different but real Ma Sai here.I also hope that you can share your feelings with me.I wish that this blog can be a place where I can make some new friends and also bond me and my dear old friends together:)

As you see,my English standard is really not well and I believe that blogging may be a good way to help me improve my English(My teacher always says,"Ma Sai,you should write more").Even though I really don't like English(I prefer Chinese),I have to learn it as it is so called "official international language".

At last,there is only one rule for my dear friends who visit this blog:"shooting" at each other is banned here,especially don't shoot at me!Even you really hate me and want to kill me...=.=...Please don't "shoot" my heart as it have already broken into pieces(now I try to use glue to stick the pieces together).I wish that everyone visit here can create a peaceful blogging enviroment.I will be very appreciate for you kind cooperation and wish that you have a good time here:)