Recently,I start to miss my old friends in HIHS.I also do not know why I have such feelings.People say that I can make new friends in new school,but your new friends can never ever instead of your old friends.Anyway,although JC life is very stressful,I will try to keep in touch with them.

Firstly,I will miss Seow Hwee,this girl is a bit crazy,okay,I think not only a bit,she is very crazy!But on the other hand,what are covered by her crazy actions?She is smart and logical.She is a strong and powerful girl.Although she does not like me to say that she is a beautiful girl,to be honest,I have to say,she is beautiful.Actually,I do not need to worry too much about her as she is an independent girl,she can settle most problems by herself,but sometimes,she is a bit emotional,that is the time she show her girly side.She will cry in front of you unstoppable.I really do not want to see that,not because I feel annoyed.It is because her cry also make me want to cry,luckily,last time I stopped her crying before I started to cry together with her=.=Girl crying is acceptable,but a big boy like me cry together with a girl...That sounds a bit wrong.Anyway,after experience so much,I believe that she has became much more mature.I hope that she can get into a good university course which she wants after 2 years JC studying,and I believe that she can do it.Anyway,if she meet any problem in the future,I will always welcome her to tell me and I will do my best to help her.

I will also miss Russell.He is smart,logical,wise and independent.Oh,yeah,I prefer to using sexy and attractive these two words on him.I can say that he is the smartest student in HIHS,I also can say that he is the most dirty student in HIHS.Does dirty people always be very smart?I am not very sure.Anyway,he quite enjoy my sick jokes.Okay,let us forget about those "guys topic",those R-21 stuff I will discuss him privately.I think although he is in Poly now,I always feel a bit pity as I think he should go JC,he will succeed in future.Maybe someday later we will meet in university again,and when the time we meet each other,muhahahaha...my hands will go...okay,he knows what I will do to him,and I think he will enjoy it as he always do=)But during my 2 years JC life,as I cannot always see him,I need to find someone to instead of him,who will be the "lucky" one?I think these people later can group up a victim group,the name will be "victims which have been tortured by Ma Sai",and I am very sure that Russell will be the chairman of the group=)

Luckily,some of my dear friends get into the same JC as me,Yoong Aunn and Hui Hui,So I do not need to miss them.Hui Xin also get into the same JC as me,I think after Orientation,I will go find a time to "disturb" her=)Although Kendy not in same school as me,I will not miss the shortie,it is because almost everyday she will "scold" me(she does not mean it),hahaha,she just enjoy scolding me and I have already adapt to it.Without her scolding,can I fall in asleep tonight?But to be serious,I will worry about her,this girl need more confidence on herself.Anyway,I will do whatever I can do to help her,although she need to dependent on herself,my spiritual comfort also very important=)

Yesterday I had a very very weird dream,I dreamed about someone who I do not want to dream of.In fact,I have tried to forget about her since the day she said we are impossible,but I cannot forget about her till now.Every moments when we are together,every scene and every word,everything seems just happen yesterday and I remember all of them clearly.

What make her so charmful and unforgettable?I am not really very sure,but one thing I really cannot wipe out from my brain is her smile.Since the day when she knows I have feeling to her,she never smile to me anymore.The only thing instead of smile on her face is embarrassment.I know what she feels and since she have already said we are impossible,I gave up on her.I know there is someone else and I hope she can be happy.But when we meet each other every time,both of us do not dare to look into each other's eyes,without smile,without saying "hello",just pass by each other silently,like a pair of strangers.

Yesterday I dreamed that she smiling to me,the smile which long time I never see.On one hand,I feel very sad as it was just a stupid dream,and the dream made me more sad.It made me wake up at 2 am and it took me another 1 hour to try to fall into asleep again.=.=On the other hand,I felt quite happy as her smile just like a wonderful magic,just by looking at it,you can forget all the sadness.

People always say that she cheat me and hurt me,they say she is not worth for me to chase.Maybe they are right but maybe they are wrong,I think she is innocent as I made my own decision to chase her,no one forced me.Everything happened naturally and suddenly,I even did not well-prepared and it just happened,without a sign or a reason.I promised myself I will forget about her,The two songs "as long as you love me" and "I want it that way" were actually sing for her.I know we are impossible and when can I forget about her?it is a question mark.

Finally,O level was over!I believe that a lot people will use this long holiday to relax themselves,but for me,this holiday is definitely a suffering time.The reason is very simple,I had messed up my O level so do you think I still have mood to enjoy my holiday?

I just cannot get that why I am not in the form during the examination period and this is such a bored thing for me.I have prepared well before examination and as my standard,my raw marks for L1R5 can at least get 10 points,but this time,I do not think that I can achieve what I should achieve.After a few sleepless night,I still cannot forget about this bad feeling.In fact,this is my first time experience such feeling.I have never worry about my results before...Either I did not care about them or I could deal with them.I just cannot believe that how can I lost my form in such a important examination?Anyway,I do not know what the hell is going on in my mind,the only thing now I try to do is make myself calm down...

I was a bad student before,I mean my results were very lousy before,but I did not care about them as I was very young and know nothing at that time.After I went to Secondary 3(in China school),I started to realise the importance of studying and my results have never made me disappointed since that time,that was 6 years ago.Although I could not always be level top-one,my results could always send me into the top class or top-3 school easily.That was the reason why I did not need to worry about them,just be well-prepared before examination and do not be nervous during examination time,no matter how important the examination is,I can perform very well and show my real standard on my results.

My bad performance made me think of one of my best friend in my hometown,how to describe her?She was a legend in our secondary school as her results were super-good.For example,the best high school in our hometown need at least 510 marks then can go in,a lot of people wished to go into that school but 510 marks was too high for them.For many of them,they even cannot achieve 400 marks...but this girl,she could get about 600 marks EASILY...=.=...of course,after 3 years secondary school life,she entered the best high school in our hometwon EASILY...=.=...but then,her suffering time was coming,compare her secondary school results with her high school results,you can really find a very big difference.At that time,I even cannot believe that after she told me she was suffering as I thought that was impossible...and now,I got what she felt too.That was a really bad experience.

In fact,both of us have already adapted to get good results during examination,I know it is sounds quite pride,but can you just imagine that you can always perform well and constantly during examinations,will you still worry about your results?One of my another friend said that we need to learn how to face failure and I think she was right.Sometimes,failure was not a bad thing,it makes our mind clear.Our life track is like to take a roller coaster,up down,up down and no one can always remain in a high level.You cannot always be a winner and that situation only appears in movie.Now,it is time for me to be a loser,actually,I was a big loser during primary school,I never felt it just because I was dumb and did not care about my results at that time.

Anyway,I think I will adjust my mind,take a break and go back to my life battlefield again.I am still very young and I am very sure that there are still a lot of failures and difficulties waiting for me in the future.I will prepare myself to accept my lousy results and I will use this holiday to set some other future plans.I believe that I will be back soon=)

依旧记得小时候，懵懵懂懂的我根本无法理解“祖国”这个词的深刻含义，更别提什么“爱国情怀”。那时的我只知道，中国曾经是一个很伟大的帝国，只不过是因为后来不思进取，输了几场不该输的仗，才沦落到后来任人宰割这个地步。当然，那时年少无知的我似乎把残酷的中国近代史看得太轻了些，虽然我经常听大人们说我们今天的幸福生活来之不易，但究竟为何来之不易？我终究是无法理解。直到后来，十岁的我第一次完完整整地读完了中国近代史之后，我才突然明白了中华民族曾经经历的耻辱与伤痛，我才突然明白了“祖国”与“国家”这两个词语的深刻含义，从那一天起，我忽然间感觉到自己的肩膀上似乎又多了一份重任，那便是不惜一切，建设并保卫自己的祖国！

其实，当我真正理解了中国近代史之后，我心中除了满腔的怒火便是久久不能抹去的仇恨……英法联军的蛮横，《南京条约》的耻辱。满清政府的无能，火烧圆明园的痛苦。甲午海战的惨败，《马关条约》的伤痛。八国联军的野蛮，《辛丑条约》的无奈。“二十一条”的无理，袁世凯的懦弱。日本人气焰的嚣张，“九一八事变”的呐喊。国民政府的不作为，“芦沟桥事变”的愤怒。日本军阀的凶残，南京大屠杀的悲惨……在这一个多世纪的时间里，中国人民经受了不曾有过的凌辱，沦为半殖民地后的沉默，以及被人贬低为“东亚病夫”的耻辱！在这短短的一百年里，我们饱受摧残，一个堂堂的大中国就这样倒下了……然而，“不在沉默中爆发，就在沉默中灭亡”，中国人民终于在彷徨中呐喊，终于用那千千万万的血肉之躯组成了我们新的长城……八年抗战不仅仅是对日本侵略者的反抗，更是发泄了百年来帝国主义对中国压迫的不满！于是，在1949年10月1日，在无数革命志士献出了他们宝贵的生命之后，中华人民共和国终于在那饱受战火摧残的土地上成立了，而中国历史也随之翻开了新的篇章！此时的我终于了解到为何我们今天的幸福生活来之不易，因为那是无数先辈用自己的鲜血换来得！为何中国的国旗要以红色为背景？那是因为战士的鲜血染红了它！

此时此刻，早已成熟的我已经忘却了年幼时的愤怒与仇恨，但多少年来，我一直坚信着，只有刻苦学习才能在将来建设并保卫自己的祖国！历史已经成为无法改变的事实，我们不应再去憎恨或埋怨什么，但历史却时刻为我们敲响警钟，而我们所要做的，就是避免历史重演，避免耻辱重演！“落后就要挨打”，而唯有科教才可以兴国！“少年强，则中国强”，作为祖国新一代的接班人，我们只有发奋图强，才能让那个曾经强盛无比的大中国重新屹立于世界的东方！

如今的我虽然与祖国相隔千山万水，但我的心却和祖国近在咫尺，因为自从我离开祖国的那一刻起，我就将我的心留在了那片生我养我的土地上。“为什么我的眼里常含泪水？因为我对这土地爱得深沉。”的确，我爱我的祖国，而祖国的利益永远高于一切！“中国是一头睡狮，一旦她醒来将会震撼整个世界，她在沉睡着，感谢上帝，让她继续睡下去吧！”法兰西帝国的皇帝拿破仑在200年前曾这样评价中国。如今，中国已经崛起，睡狮已经苏醒，而她给世界带来的，必将会是新的格局。在这新中国诞辰60周年之际，我想要说的便是祝您生日快乐，我们亲爱的母亲！

Just came back home from hospital...I hate to go to hospital...=.=...The good thing was I was not the one who got sick,the bad thing was she got sick.As her parents,brother and sister all went to Malaysia enjoy their holidays(I always doubt that what kind of fun can Malaysia bring to you,I have been there once,and it is enough for me),so I had to accompany her to hospital(I got no choice as she got high fever).

She said she got fever because of me...=.=...that was the reason why she called me to accompany her as I must take the responsibility...=.=...I was totally confused as was there any link between me and the fever?She said she got fever as her throat got inflammation,and the inflammation caused by eating too much chocolate...and the chocolate was bought by me for her(She was good at linking two unrelative things together)...=.=...I spent a lot money and asked my father's pilot friend bought Delafee from Switzerland for her,but now,I was the one who should be blamed...Anyway,I knew that she did not mean to blame me,she just tried to find some stupid nonsense to make me feel guilty,also,she could ask for some unreasonable requests such as I need to carry her...=.=...she said she was 48kg but I did not think so.

It was hard to imagine that even she got sick,she still tried to make me feel guilty and make fun of me,but one thing she was right...She got fever because she ate too much chocolate(The doctor said so...=.=)...She was very happy when she heard that as she won...=.=...and she said that I must treat her at Pizzahut after she recovered as I made her get sick...Why everytime she love to choose Pizzahut?...T.T...Anyway,now she feel better which is a good thing for me,or I will be worry about it.

She made me think of another two girls who always like to get sick,my ex-girlfriend Xin Er and my best friend Xiao Xue,both of them are good at getting sick(and everytime when their parents not at home,I have to take care of them,that is why a lot of people say that I can be a good nurse...=.=)...xD,why girls always get sick so easily?I think they must go to do more exercise...Only eat one box of chocolate then can get sick,she is really weak...Hope she can recover soon=)

Long time never update my blog as recently I was quite busy,sorry about that=)Okay,now let me talk about what happened on me during these few days...

Firstly,I screwed up my Preliminary Examinations,the results I got were damn ugly!!!I felt very shameful when I thought of the results,how bad the results were?If I was not wrong,I had already been about 5 years never got such bad results,and now,just 2 months before O level examinations,I got them...I was a bit shocked but then,it might be a good thing as the bad results were like someone slapped on my face hardly,it made me wake up and stopped thinking of other meaningless stuff...Felt very bored now as my dad got new "excuse" to set some new rules for me thus I got less freedom...To be honestly,I felt very sick about the way my parents educate me...=.="

Secondly,I was happy that I did not screw up our Teachers' Day singing show=)At least most feedback I got were saying good things about me and ShiZe...By the way,thanks to those people who help and support us,I was very appreciate your help and supports=)

Thirdly,my pocket became empty!!!This was a very very very bad new for me...Last week cost too much...Cost more than $1000 on shoes...PS:I bought those NIKE shoes for collection only...xD..This week must save my spending,otherwise,got no money to go out eat with friends and watch movie.

Lastly,I got sick!High fever but not H1N1...The good thing was I do not need to go to school,the bad thing was I feel very bad...I think last time I got fever was 2 or 3 years ago?I was very hard to get sick...Anyway,I was almost recover now,even though my throat was still very painful...Tomorrow go Pizza Hut...Muhahaha,someone treat me as this time she lose the bet...xD...but the sad thing is my throat does not allow me to eat those kind of food...T.T...Hmmm...Maybe I should tell her change the date...xD

Tagboard:
To PAHKE:thank=)I will do my best=)6 points a bit hard lah,but I will try to achieve it,nothing is impossible,right?You also need to work on your study oh,next year you will be Sec4...Time flies,it will be very soon for you to face O level deh,so jiayou also=)

...I ruined all the preliminary papers last week...I think I would not get 7 points in L1R5 again...=.=...I believe that I will be already very lucky if I can get less than 20 points...Ehhhh...I must find back my courage to face the stupid examinations!!!

Forget about the boring boring examinations...Now let me talk about me...What happened to me?I think I should listen to my best friends' ideas,(all of them are know me more than 10 years,so they will not anyhow make judgements on me)but unfortunately,mostly,I changed in a bad way...=(

1)My heart becomes weaker than before-I was a very strong boy before and I believed that I could solve every problems I met...but now,I feel tired and start to 力不从心...
2)I am not as brave as before-I was a very brave boy before,that was why I could achieve a lot of "impossible" things before...but now,I become fearful,I start to scare of failure or the kind of results which I do not hope to see...
3)I start to think about things in a very negative way-I was an optimistic person before,sometimes,I was even over-optimistic...but now,even I have the ability to achieve something,I think about the things negatively before I really do them or during the process I do them...
4)I become less confident than before-I was a confident person before,I always think that nothing is impossible for me(over-confident?)...but now,I think everything is impossible for me...=.=...this is really a drastic change...
5)I become less logical than before-I was a super logical person before,sometimes,my so called "logic" will made me very bold or mercyless...but now,I start to become emotional,I really feel very bad as I do not want to become as emotional as a girl...=.=...This is very serious problem for me as logic can help me solve a lot of problems and make me strong...
6)Sadness becomes the main theme of my life-I was a happy and joyful people before,my friends also said that they feel the power of happyness when they stayed with me...but now,I even cannot make myself happy so how can I make others happy?
7)I think that I am hopeless-I always could see the sunlights which are covered by dark clouds and the rainbow which appears after a rain storm...but now,I cannot see them at all...I really wonder am I blind or what?How can a person who always see hopes becomes the one who cannot see hope at all?


In fact,I also find these negative changes on me,I try to stop but I cannot stop...=.=...Anyway,I must find back myself as fast as I can,all the strength,braveness,happyness,joyness,confidence,hope and logic which I ever had,I must find them back!Now,I feel that I look like a stupid coward,always try to avoid problems and do not dare to face them directly.I know this is wrong and I will make a change!

Anyway,thanks to Xiao Xue,today one of her random question really inspire me and make me find the real problem in my life...The problem of my life is lack of passion and it becomes so empty since after I came to Singapore...Today she asked me,"Now you should be really happy,as you are not a students' community chairman of our high school,not the captain of our school basketball team,not the vice-captain of 仪仗队...You must feel very relaxable and comfortable after you took off all the burdens from your shoulders..."But actually,I feel empty and that is why I start to change in a bad way...I have already adapted to the stressful and busy life which I had have!It is true that as a chairman,school stuff made me sick as everyday I need to write and plan for a lof stuff!It is true that as a school basketball player,I had to go for training everyday for at least 3 hours and also need to join competition!It is also true that I hated my job at the stupid 仪仗队 as everyday we had to practise our square...continued practising steps and walk(this is the most boring thing I do in my life) dunno who many hours!But I was happy at that time as they enriched my life!Even though I also need to kept my results in level top 3 among 1200 plus students,I felt happy=)Not like now,put so much time on computer game or try to make girlfriend and other stupid things!I think I really need to find back the goal and pace of my life,and I believe,the original me will be back soon=)

Recently,I was really not happy with the lesson arrangement of my school...The principal continued adding on extra lessons for us and I believed that it has already exceed the limit.I knew that our principal just worried about our results and tried to "force" us to improve them,but did she really think that add more extra lessons will help us on our study?I could not think in the way she thinks so I could not answer my own question,anyway,I was not her and if I was her,I would not make such decision...

Extra lessons were really make me sick,I felt powerless and had no motivation to study.For me,extra lessons almost equalled to sleeping lessons,but of course,I could not get a well sleep as I had to sleep on hard small desk instead of my soft big bed and always got "disturb" by teachers...=.=...I hoped that I could take only one month rest,just one month was enough for me to prepare and face the challenges of O level examinations!

Now I really suffered from school days,I did not need a relaxable holiday but I need to revise by myself!I always can keep a high efficiency of study when I studied in my house!I did not know what others think about extra lessons and maybe they need the guides of teachers...but for me,definitely,I need to study by myself,but not rely on anybody else...

I hoped the stupid extra lessons can go to the hell!

Tagboard:To JM:lol...is qing mei zhu ma lah...you really should go to learn han yu pin yin loh!but anyway,thanks your suggestion...we are just good friends,full stop,that's all=)